Living and Regrets

Living with regrets has to do with personal choices, decisions, and paths. Living to regret can be external. Someone else may have made a decision and we can live to regret that decision as it impacts us. For example, a change in allowable deductions from the Internal Revenue Service was something I lived to regret. Cosmetic surgeries
are not allowed under Health Savings Accounts any longer.

To live with regrets can be an unhappy way of life. It is better to come to terms with the events that may have been personally life-shattering but not personally life-taking. I have experienced many personal tragedies so that statement wasn’t lively rhetoric.

After observing that I have made numerous comments lately about not having children, I have focused on that aspect of my past. I have even submitted an article on adoptions and read many heart-warming stories involving children.

If I could change one thing about my past, I would have adopted a child or two after my divorce. I would not have been so focused on my losses. Not the loss of a husband, but multiple miscarriages. (My former spouse was not interested in adopting.) The last one [miscarriage] was also the catalyst to the end of a marriage. I was lost in my grief and pain. It was all about me. In retrospect, I could have given all of the love in my heart for my baby girl to another child needing me as much as I needed him or her. I regret I didn’t.

The maternal feelings and longings are still with me. But for the grace of God, I could suffer from severe depression but I learned from that experience. It is no longer all about me. Whatever verse or chapter I can now find in His Word to help me is found, recorded and committed to memory. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

That verse comforts me. My future is filled with hope. I will have many teens and their babies to love and care for in the home I have founded for pregnant teens. It is a labor of love and proving to be extremely therapeutic. I am thankful I will not live to regret not doing it.

Other things I’d do differently are all related to my deceased parents. I think that’s normal for all of us. I am now reminded of that saying: Yesterday’s a canceled check; tomorrow’s a promissory note; today is ready cash, spend it!

We’ll never get it perfect in this lifetime. Live life to the full and let it overflow. Perform routine spot checks but don’t hang out in the past. We only have now.